Bound to My Path

  There’s a CD with MRI scans sitting on my desk—sealed and unopened. Today, it’s been exactly a week. The results that will tell what is happening in my head. Is my acoustic neuroma—a tumor also known as a vestibular schwannoma— “moving” in any direction or just chilling in there? That paper envelope, more precisely the CD it contains, holds the data that will ground me—in a good way or a bad way—I don’t know yet. I’m afraid to look at it! It feels like I’m in the middle of a cosmic coin toss, frozen just before the flip lands. If I don’t look, there’s still a chance that my protocol—my disciplined and borderline-religious way of life—might be working. That the tumor is shrinking. Or even just staying still. If I do look, that possibility might vanish. It’s like Schrödinger’s cat, but instead of a box, it’s an MRI viewer. Instead of a cat, it’s my faith. Well, if by any chance a thought already came into your mind like, “ Fool, he thinks he can reverse it just by eating some m...

Finally, the big mystery is revealed —the diagnosis is in: vestibular schwannoma, also known as acoustic neuroma. A lovely, not-so-small tumor in my head. And that’s how I finally found out... My appointment for the MRI was on December 23rd (2024). Because I chose the first available slot, I had to make a compromise—I had to drive an hour and a half to get there. Well, of course, my girlfriend didn’t allow me to drive because of my symptoms. So, all thanks to her, she drove us there. The MRI scan went really well. The personnel gave me headphones with calming music, I laid down on the MRI bed, and through the small mirror in the head frame, I could see a television playing relaxing videos of nature. That wasn’t my first encounter with an MRI procedure, so I knew what to expect. The MRI scan was done without contrast dye (as my doctor stated in his referral) and was completed in something like 15 to 20 minutes. This MRI provider had a great system for delivering medical images. Not ...

A continuation of the story of how I found out I have vestibular schwannoma — aka acoustic neuroma — a not-so-fun vestibulocochlear head tumor. This time, things got more serious, and it finally hit me. Well, the real fun began in December that year (2024). It was right after dinner at a restaurant. I was full to the brim. While driving through a tunnel on the highway, a very weird feeling swept through the back of my head like a wave, lasting only a second or two. Then it happened again after a while. It was one of those moments when you think, “ OK. What’s going on? Are these, by any chance, early signs of me passing out? ” But I got home safely, no mishaps. A few days later, a similar situation. This time, my grandma had made a delicious macaroni moussaka with lots of cheese. After a long, hard day of work around the house, I was starving. It was so good that I couldn’t stop eating, even when I was full. And while stuffing myself in an “ I promise this is my last piece. ” style, i...

If you're interested in how I found out that I have this tumor in my head—called vestibular schwannoma, aka acoustic neuroma—here’s the full story. Actually, it’s so “full” that I had to split it into three parts. I really hope it sheds some light on how these things are usually discovered, and what tends to happen before someone actually gets their first diagnosis. Of course, it differs from case to case—but this is how it went for me.   When people hear about my diagnosis, the one question that most frequently pops up is: “ But how did you even find out that you have this thing in your head? ” And it's usually hard to explain in a short format appropriate for today’s fast-paced lifestyle. The answer, in my case, can’t be boiled down to just one event or symptom. Well, I could pick one of the most obvious ones and throw that at them. But it wouldn’t have any context, and even worse, it would be just a pixel of the whole picture. So if you are truly interested in the whole “ ho...

Somewhere in the twilight, while fighting my demons, a tiny idea sparked to life—an idea to make something good out of the worst. So here I am… explaining WHY I’m even starting this blog-writing thingy, and HOW I’ll try to juggle it. Interested? Huh. OK. So it looks like I am doing it! I’m starting a blog… Well, what should I even say? To be straight, of course I have a basic idea of why I’m even starting this blog and what I want to say. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing these lines! Right!? But that’s actually all I have right now. A rough idea—why, and vaguely how. So, bear with me for a second. Let’s start with the WHY, which is clearer to me. First, to anyone who’s reading this website and asking themselves, “ Who is this nobody anyway, and why should I even care? ”—a little context would probably help at this point, right? So, in a nutshell… you see… I have this thing… they say it’s a tumor… it’s the size of a grape… and it’s in my head. Well, the doctors and the internet in gener...